Sunday, May 24, 2009

My mother was just diagnosed with an aggressive type of lung cancer; baby brother is in Iraq. Can he come home


My mother was just diagnosed with an aggressive type of lung cancer; baby brother is in Iraq. Can he come home?
He just joined up this summer. My mother doesn't want us to tell him, because he is over there and it might just worry him; also he has not been in long and she doesn't want to cause him any trouble. Has anyone else experienced this, and what will the military do? My brother is much younger than us and the only boy; to my mother, he is he center of the universe. I'm not sure what to do. Nazgul; she has small cell also.
Military - 12 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
They might let him on leave depends.... feel bad for you.. it shouldnt hurt to try
2 :
he could put in a request for a short term leave of absence, make sure he requests it under the family medical leave act. Cant guarantee it will be approved, but thats the best I know of. I think you should tell him regardless, I would be real PO'ed if something like that was going on and I didnt know....I would want the chance to say goodbye, just in case
3 :
It's possible they might give him a few weeks' leave. But think about this, would your mother want him to abandon his comrads in Iraq? I extend my sympathy to you and your family and hope the best for all of you.
4 :
He might be able to come home when she passes away,I am sorry for this. My mother lasted for 1 year with small cell lung cancer she passed 5 years ago. You can try the Red Cross and he might get a short leave but he will not be able to come home indefinitely, then when she does pass he might be able to come again. Good Luck I hope he makes it so they can see each other before hand. Vet-USAF I see the thumbs down troll has hit
5 :
The Military has Emergency Leaves. And problems in family is an Emergency. But usually you get Emergency leave when a family member dies.
6 :
Call the Red Cross. They are the go between of family and the military. Someone there could give you some good advice. He will not get in trouble. His mother is gravely ill, and he is the only son. He may be able to come home on leave, or the Red Cross will keep him apprised of her condition. Ask them what you should do. I know you don't want to worry him, tell them that and see what they say.
7 :
He might not be able to come home right away. I would suggest letting her doctor know about your brother and send a red cross message. He might not be able to come home but if worse comes to worse they can probably get him out to see her. When he gets back from deployment he can try for a compassionate reassignment to be closer to her. It depends on how aggressive the cancer is and if they give her a timeline etc.
8 :
You should tell him and let him handle it the way he wants. I don't know what the military rules are, but if he would be able to come home and didn't because you didn't tell him he may never forgive you. My mother died 10 weeks ago which was a year and a half after she was originally diagnosed with Lung Cancer. I can only imagine how irate and hurt I would be if I were not informed of her illness. My heart goes out to you and your family. May peace be with you. Here is a web site which helped us immensely. http://cancergrace.org/lung/
9 :
Go through the Red Cross.
10 :
It depends on how serious it will get. When you are deployed in Iraq it can be hard to leave because you're fulfilling a mission. If she is actually dying they will let him go for 2 weeks.
11 :
He can apply for a humanitarian re-assignment to the base or fort closest to her. The catch to that is it has to be for a condition that will resolve within six months. They will not do it if her problem will go on for years and years. The unfortunate thing is he is not considered her next of kin. That would be her husband. Since he is not next of kin, getting a humanitarian reassignment, specially with other kids in the area might be hard to get. If she becomes really sick you can contract the Red Cross and they can arrange for him to be informed and perhaps come home on emergency leave. That would be in the case of she is about to pass away. (FYI, I was in Germany when my Dad died of cancer and in Texas when my mother died of cancer. Both were in Minnesota so I was not there for either of them. But my brothers were. In neither case did I even consider asking for a humanitarian reassignment. I also got shipped out four days after the birth of my first child. I did not think about trying to get out of duty over that one either. Life goes on despite death and birth in the family.) In my opinion, if you are going to join the service you have to realize that you have new priorities. His may be to his unit and his buddies in the war zone. I do think you need to inform him of what is going on but make no demand or even suggestion that he come home. Let the decision be entirely his without any pressure from the family.
12 :
You have to contact the Red Cross to send a message to the Army to get him on emergency leave. Don't ask for him to come home unless he is REALLY needed there. It would be too disruptive for all involved.




Read more discussions :